Even Homer Simpson Wouldn’t Drink This Stuff

Looking for an ice-cold beverage to quench your thirst on a hot, January day in Houston?

chelada.jpg

Ah…well…you might want to keep looking.

For the record, this is the newest offering from Anheuser-Busch: Chelada. It’s the latest mass-market attempt at cerveza preparada or Michelada (a.k.a. “red beer”), the rather disgusting recipe for which can be found here.

Here’s a hilarious sampling of recent reviews from the awesome BeerAdvocate:

  • “Occasionally I’ll take a sip and think it’s interesting, and that’s about the best thing I can say about it.”
  • “I’ve never had the misfortune of drinking a glass of fish blood, but I expect this is what it tastes like.”
  • “Flavor is so bad I can scarsely (sic) describe it. Pain. Fear. Agony. This is what cancer tastes like.”
  • “It had a very salty aftertaste, as I recall. I’m not 100% sure on the salty thing, though, because I’ve read that when a person has experienced severe trauma, the brain tries to protect itself by shutting down and blotting out the memory. So I might need a hypnotist to try and unlock some portions of the experience.”
  • “After taking a sip, I died a little inside.”

And they just get worse.

Hey, maybe this well sell like crazy in the Hispanic market. But somehow I think the AB product development team might have been, as one reviewer on BeerAdvocate said, “… hammered on tequila already…” when coming up with Chelada.

8 responses to “Even Homer Simpson Wouldn’t Drink This Stuff

  1. oh my lord – who the heck came up with this ?

    and can they please get some tastebuds implanted before they do more harm.

    the worst part is – whoever did come up with this probably makes a six figure salary

  2. What’s so funny to me is that a lot of the highly negative reviews were from people who normally enjoy Michelada, so it’s as if the AB team did absolutely no focus groups or taste tests or any of that before pushing the Chelada out onto the market.

    I think I’ll stick to my St. Arnold’s…. 😀

  3. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

  4. Funny, because that’s exactly what Chelada tastes like! …according to reviews, at least. I’m not woman enough to actually try the stuff. 😉

  5. While I’m not defending this abomination, I do have to admit that a Tecate with lime and a hefty splash of Tobasco is amazingly refreshing on the beach…

    Oh, and just stumbled on this awesome blog – keep up the good work!

  6. Lime and tabasco? Yes.

    Tomato juice and clam juice? No.

    Glad to have you with us, Sid!

  7. For many years Mexicans and Canadians have been adding Clamato to Beer – which is why this beer was created.

    Once you get over the initial incongruity, the taste is spicy but light, even somewhat refreshing – like a light Bloody Mary…

    No doubt this is an acquired taste, but rather like other beer+ combinations (eg ginger beer in canada) it is pretty good. Not a replacement for a real lager, but a nice addition to beer options.

  8. Two ounces of Valentina Salsa Picante
    One ounce of lime juice
    Course sea salt
    One Corona

    Pour the lime and Valentina in a salted rim frosty beer mug. Pour the Corona in on top of it.

    IT’S AWESOME….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s