One Scoop Or Two?

And while we’re on the topic of beverages, the coffee snobs have come crawling out of the internet woodwork over at FARK today after someone made the mistake of innocuously asking, “How many scoops of coffee do you put in the filter basket? The directions on mine say to put a scoop per cup. That seems like a lot of freaking coffee.

They’re up to 272 replies in less than two hours. That’s roughly 2.6 replies per minute. I guess the good folks over at FARK take their coffee pretty seriously.

On the upside, there have been some very entertaining posts scattered among the trolls (“I have the servants force feed coffee beans to a Indonesian civet cat- who, in turn, relieves itself over the expresso machine.”) and coffee nuts (“I use 25g per 500ml of water in my French Press.” and “Seriously, if this is too difficult for you maybe teabags are the way to go.”), such as this expertly-drawn diagram:


And this classic Terry Tate: Office Linebacker commercial:

“You kill the joe, you make some mo’!”

How do you take your coffee? Me, I’ll take pretty much whatever you hand me as long as it’s not decaf, although I am partial to my French press over a drip machine any day…

9 thoughts on “One Scoop Or Two?”

  1. I’m a big fan of eye openers. Large.

    20 oz of coffee with 2 shots of espresso and one packet of Splenda. (you know, to take the edge off).

    No cream.

    After that I discuss football playoffs with the almighty as per the bell curve.

  2. Jesus, Cory! To quote one of the FARKers on the coffee forum, “…that’ll either put hair on your chest or burn it off.”

    Do you go to Starbucks for your daily dose of epinephrine…er…coffee? Or do you just mainline it? 😉

  3. I loved that graphic.

    I do either the black eye (coffee with two shots) or the red eye (with one shot), either with cream and a couple of packets of the blue stuff. And yeah, I do evil Starbucks. Too convenient. And of all the Starbucks I’ve had all over the world (which is a bit of an exaggeration), the ones in Houston just have better tasting coffee. I guess I like my coffee bitter.

    The black eye zooms me for an hour or so, so I only use it in cases of emergency. The red eye is my daily morning remedy.

  4. I used to get mine from Bad Ass Coffee over here on the West side but, unfortunately, they closed about a month ago.

    Now I just stop by whatever coffee shop is convenient.

    Buzz lasts for about 2 hours.

  5. @ callie: Wow. I stand in awe of your caffeine tolerance. I just maintain a steady stream throughout the day; I think a Black Eye would cause my heart to explode. 😀

    @ Cory: Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m a Starbucks addict. I don’t like the sweet, sugary lattes and mochas and all that. Just a grande mild, with some half and half and a few Splendas. Now, at home, I’m a big French press fan. Just sprinkle a little kosher salt on the grounds before you add the water and it’s deelish; way better than anything I can get on the outside. 🙂

  6. Oh, K! You disappoint me in your lack of coffee snobbery. But, I do agree with the wonderful taste and simplicity of the press. Man, I have some good coffee stories, but it would take too much time. I’m almost embarrassed to say that I spent over $2K on my coffee machine (Capresso S9). But it was money well spent. It grinds your coffee, tamps, pump driven, proper temperature, dumps, and cleans itself. Hey, it even wipes my butt.

  7. Hee! Hey, I only have so much snobbery to go around. I’d be insufferable otherwise. I’ve gotta be low-maintenance about some things. 😀

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