Fried Meme Tomatoes

I was poking around the net tonight on — gasp! — completely non-food-related blogs and happened to stumble across this food meme.  I simply couldn’t resist.  So here goes…more about my odd culinary interests than you probably ever cared to know:

1. How do you like your eggs?  Poached, scrambled, overeasy, hard-boiled, whatever.  I’ll take ’em any way I can get ’em.  I can’t be picky about everything after all.

2. How do you take your coffee/tea?  Coffee with sugar and half & half.  Tea with nothing, especially if it’s a fruity tea.  Sugar, honey, lemon, etc. in tea make me gag, literally.  I don’t know why…

3. Favorite breakfast food:  A fresh, toasty bagel with salmon and lox — all the fixings, please.

4. Peanut butter:  Peter Pan, chunky, the kind with “added vitamins and minerals” or some such nonsense, since it makes me feel better about eating what is basically a high fructose corn syrup extravaganza with no other nutritional value, a.k.a. a PB&J (with grape jelly, natch).

5. What kind of dressing on your salad?  Blue cheese.  I should think that would be fairly obvious by now.

6. Coke or Pepsi?  Dr Pepper, you fools!  Dublin Dr Pepper, more specifically.  Although…here in Texas, the conversation would go more along the lines of:

Me: You wanna Coke?
Fellow Texan: Yeah, sure.
Me: What kinda Coka ya want?
Fellow Texan: Hmm. Whutcha got?
Me: Dr Pepper and Big Red.
Fellow Texan: Dr Pepper, please!

7. You’re feeling lazy.  What do you make?  Reservations.  *ba-dum-pa!*  No.  Not really.  My ultimate go-to, lazy, comfort food is pasta with peas.

8. You’re feeling really lazy. What kind of pizza do you order?  I don’t appreciate you making an issue of my laziness, meme.  I work really hard, okay?  I have a full-time job and I write this blog and I supervise our household to make sure my husband doesn’t accidentally burn it down or feed the dog chocolate.  How did you know that we even ordered pizza tonight?  That’s just creepy.  Whatever.  It was a totally healthy, thin crust veggie pizza from Papa John’s.  So there.

9. You feel like cooking. What do you make?  I always feel like cooking.  And I cook a lot of stuff.  That’s kind of why I write this blog.  Next.

10. Do any foods bring back good memories?  My Meemo’s chicken and dumplings, my mother’s meatloaf, her lasagne, her beouf bourguingnon, my father’s beer-butt chicken…  My family has always displayed their love through food and cooking, so there’s really too many things and correlating memories to list here.

11. Do any foods bring back bad memories?  I once ate an entire bowl of some crunchy peanut butter candies and then ralphed all over my grandparent’s rug.  Also, there’s, like, the dozen or so times a piece of steak has gotten stuck in my stupid, scarred esophagus and I’ve had to sit there for fifteen minutes and either wait for the peristalsis to painfully work the steak down, or else I’ve just involuntarily thrown it up.  GERD sucks.

12. Do any foods remind you of someone?  Just one story, for brevity’s sake:  Plantains remind me of my college boyfriend, Nick, who set his kitchen countertops, kitchen cabinets and his own hand on fire when trying to fry some plantains for dinner.  He put them into the hot oil straight from the freezer, started a grease fire and then tried to put it out by throwing water on it.  I’m amazed that he’s survived as long as he has.  In the wild, he’d have already fallen victim to natural selection.

13. Is there a food you refuse to eat?  I don’t refuse to eat things like veal or foie gras on principle.  But on the other end of the spectrum, I do try to refrain from eating food that’s being served in a chain restaurant, food that’s unnecessarily bad for me (as in, this doesn’t even taste good!  why am I eating this?), or food that was created solely for mass consumption.  I don’t eat to survive, I survive to eat.  And I like what I eat to be good.

14. What was your favorite food as a child?  Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, like I imagine most kids enjoyed.  I also loved, loved, loved Granny Smith apples but they don’t agree with me anymore.  Weird.

15. Is there a food that you hated as a child but now like?  Beets and raw onions.  Man, was I missing out!

16. Is there a food that you liked as a child but now hate?  Nope.  But I carry my hate of licorice to this day.

17. Favorite fruit and vegetable:  Fruit: pomegranate.  Vegetable: any green, leafy veggie (spinach, kale, mustard greens, collard greens, turnip greens…*drool*)

18. Favorite junk food:  Freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies.

19. Favorite between meal snack:  Pickles — bread & butter or dill.

20. Do you have any weird food habits?  I have to “paint” things.  For example, I can’t eat a piece of toast or a biscuit unless the surface area has an equal amount of jam or butter on it.  Same thickness, all parts covered.  Takes a while, too.  Drives my family nuts.

21. You’re on a diet. What food(s) do you fill up on?  God, diets.  I don’t believe in diets.  If you eat healthy and move your ass, you’ll be fine.  If I’m trying to eat healthier, I tend to snack on a lot of fruit and raw veggies, especially raw cauliflower and carrots.

22. You’re off your diet. Now what would you like?  I haven’t been on a diet since…college?  Hell, I don’t even remember.

23. How spicy do you order Indian/Thai?  Now THIS is a question I can get behind!  If it’s Thai, spicy.  If it’s Indian, mild, because they tend to take you very seriously when you say “spicy” and — although I love the spicy stuff — I like to be able to go home with at least 25% of my tastebuds intact.

24. Can I get you a drink?  Tanq and tonic with extra lime, but only every once in a while.  Usually it’s just a half-pint of Boddington’s.

25. Red or White Wine?  Pinot noir, slightly chilled.

26. Favorite dessert?  Too many to choose from, but I’ll tell you one that I don’t get very often: rhubarb pie with strawberry ice cream.  Holy perfect pairing, Batman.  And now I’m craving House of Pies…

27. The perfect nightcap?  Robot Chicken Star Wars.  “What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?!?”

Okay, so the last question wasn’t food-related.   But…nightcap?  Are we living in the 1960s?  If I eat or drink anything a few hours before going to bed, I’ll be up with heartburn all night.  And Robot Chicken is way cooler than acid reflux.

My challenge to you, fair readers: come up with a better food meme than this.  I know that someone out there can do it.  I want some really insightful, thought-provoking questions.  I want something that was clearly written by a foodie.  Is anyone up to the challenge?