The Brutal Licorice Fist of the Witch King of Angmar

If you’re anything like me, the Battle of Helm’s Deep was far and away your favorite part of The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Also, if you’re anything like me, any chapter in which that blowhard Tom Bombadil appears is your most hated part (even more hated than the laborious and extended Entmoot).

Anyway, like I was saying…  If you’re like me, then you’ve also probably wistfully wondered what the Battle of Helm’s Deep would look like if painstakingly recreated with Gummy Bears, Sour Patch Kids and licorice ropes.  Well, wonder no more.

Behold!

helmsdeep1.jpg

This glorious masterpiece of sugar and orcs was created by the boys over at Miss(ed) Manners. You must go and read their write-up of the process and ingredients behind their recreation, complete with detailed pictures and hilarious captions.

helmsdeep2.jpg
It’s a trebuchet made out of a Tootsie Pop, people. Pure brilliance.

And — if after you’ve taken in the grand sight of Gummy Bear Uruk-Hai being pwnt by a Sour Patch Kid Gandalf and an army of Sour Patch Kids Rohirrim on gummy horse steeds obliterating Gummy Bear orcs*** — you’re still craving more sugary Tolkien goodness, then look no further than this:

The Battle of Pelennor Fields and the Siege of Minas Tirith!

minastirith1.jpg
Holy mother of God. This has got to be the coolest thing I have ever seen. Also: I am such a dork.

This elaborate setup appears to have taken much longer to create and uses many more ingredients. Take, for example, the Lord of the Nazgul and his Fell-Beast made from black licorice ropes and a fully-functioning Grond (the battering ram) reimagined with red licorice ropes and peppermint candies:

minastirith2.jpg

I mean, this is art, people.  If you look closely, you can even see tiny drops of blood where the Lord of the Nazgul has just killed Theoden and, per the boys at Miss(ed) Manners, “…beaten the sweet out of Merry and Eowyn.”

One can only imagine what depths they will plumb for next year’s Christmas project.  Minas Tirith, being the hardest battle to effectively recreate, leads me to ponder whether or not they peaked too early.  Perhaps next year will be a series of vignettes — the Council of Elrond, the ridiculous and hated Entmoot, the aftermath of the destruction of Isengard — or maybe a faithful recreation of The Shire and all their lovely little gardens and pubs.  Your guess is as good as mine…

***If you understood at least 75% of this without having to reference Wikipedia or any other source, then there’s a strong chance that we could be in love, or at least lifelong friends.

And massive props are due to Food Goat for pointing out the link in the first place.

2 responses to “The Brutal Licorice Fist of the Witch King of Angmar

  1. While I had to refer to all the links you had set up (I guess we will never be friends.) My son, sous chef #2, has to build a trebuchet for a science compitition, do you think the judges would except one made from a tootsie pop?

  2. If they don’t accept a trebuchet made from a Tootsie Pop, then they clearly don’t need to be judging any competitions whatsoever. I say: go for it! 🙂

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