Particle Chicken

Yet another reason to hate Sysco and all that it represents:

Classic Brand SmartServ Chicken Breasts

That, and “glazed flavoring.” Ugh.

UPDATE:  An oldie but goodie from Slate: Every Bite You Take.  Not quite as sexy as the original, but with the same creepy vibe intact.

10 responses to “Particle Chicken

  1. How died the “chicken breast pieces” get separated in the first place, and why is cheaper after they separate then reassemble them?

    What is 3-D technology — technology that exists in 3 dimensions? If so, is there a 2-D technology? 4-D?

    If the parts are “shaped into natural breast fillets”, what are they before shaping — unnatural breasts?

    If it is 100% chicken breast, how do they get the parts to stick together? Chicken threads?

    Does “glazed flavoring” have flavor? If so, what does it taste like? And is it somehow made from 100 % chicken breast?

    “How can I describe my emotions at this catastrophe, or how delineate the wretch whom with such infinite pains and care I had endeavoured to form?”
    — Mary Shelly, Frankenstein

  2. play nice…

    sysco actually operates some very high quality companies. ironic, oui?

  3. Well at least they put it in writing that it is made up of chicken BREAST meat, as opposed to, say, chicken FACE meat.

  4. @ anonymouseater: So many questions, only one answer: the glazed flavoring tastes like “glazed.” 😉

    @ greensandbeans: I don’t play nice as a general rule. 😉 I’m not opposed to using certain premade, flash-frozen, whatever items. I’m opposed to anything that is less than the sum of its parts. 😀

    @ Jim: Mmm…chicken face.

  5. This kind of sounds like how I prepare corn. I take all the kernels off and then pressure them back together in a mold resembling an ear of corn.

    I then consume the reconstituted corn from top to bottom, instead of biting around the core. I find it more efficient. 🙂

  6. great frankestein analogy anonymouseater!

  7. Where can you buy this? My kind of meal – quick, easy, and cheap. Yeah, I’m classy, I know. MF’s comment is hilarious.

  8. “What is 3-D technology — technology that exists in 3 dimensions? If so, is there a 2-D technology? 4-D?”

    Amazingly, I think this same technology was used on Pamela Anderson later in her career to give her the appearance of being an (almost) real human being.

    Who knew we had Sysco to thank for the opening scene in Baywatch?

  9. K – are you sure the words “mechanically” and “separated” were not used, and in that order. It’s, it’s……like upscale potted meat……..

    back to work for me…..particle chicken – i have been giggling for days….

  10. SOK MERH DIRCKER

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