Rhymes with “Starbucks”

On the heels of news this morning that Starbucks is closing 61 stores in Oz, in addition to the 600 here in the States, comes this amusing conversation I overheard at Einstein Bagels this morning.

Side note: I love Einstein’s coffee, probably a little too much.  Their house vanilla blend is addictive.  I’ve got the worst sweet tooth.  Also, the Einstein I go to every morning for my coffee fix is run by the most hilariously foul-mouthed crew of bagel slicers on the west side.

Shakawniya (yes, that’s her name; it’s on her badge, so shut up):  Guuurl, didju hear about Starbucks?

LaNita:  Naw, what now?

Shakawniya:  They closin’ a bunch mo’ stores.

LaNita:  I know that, heifer.

Shakawniya:  Naw, more!

LaNita:  Where more?

ShakawniyaAustralia, girl.  They can’t get they shit straight up here, down unda, over here, over there, innywhere!

Chorus of laughter from all Einstein workers.

Shakawniya:  Sheeeeeeet.  F*ck Starbucks, man!

LaNita:  That’s right!  F*ck ’em!  Who’s next?  Whatchoo want on yo’ bagel, baby?  We gotcha bagels right here!  And yo coffee!

Nothing like a little healthy competition, eh?

3 responses to “Rhymes with “Starbucks”

  1. Katherine — you are a hoot. I am LOVING this story! My nearest Einie’s does not have nearly as colorful (ahem!) staff as yours!

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