What’s Your Sign?

By far the most bizarre food-related article I’ve seen all week:

The Best Beer for You, According to Your Sun Sign


According to the article:

With the countless beers that are offered, it can be a bit overwhelming to order a pint out of your comfort zone. But as with all other tastes, your Sun Sign may be of assistance. Peruse the list below, and you may find a new favorite!

I will let you know right now that I have never been overwhelmed by a beer list.  If anything, it is a treasure map.  But I recognize that not everyone might share my fondness for seeking out random little microbrews to try, so let’s put the article to work…

I’m a Scorpio.  What kind of beers should I like, MSN Astrology-and-beer experts?

Intense, secretive, and usually much more interested in sweet concoctions, you can fool them all with Old Ruffian Barley Wine. It has that sweet, almost honey-like consistency that your feisty side craves, but it still passes as Oktoberfest-appropriate. But be forewarned: many barley wines have a higher alcohol content, so don’t get stung!

WRONG.  I hate barley wine.  I hate sweet beers in general.  Give me a bitter, hoppy beer over anything else.

Let’s try Richard, who’s an Aquarius:

Inquisitive and unpredictable, you usually don’t deny anything that the bartender puts in front of you. So how about something hearty to ground you a bit? Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout is not only rich with froth, but despite its hearty name, it also complements most fare! Have a pint, and watch the leaves fall!

WRONG.  Richard hates stouts and only indulges in lagers, Stella Artois being his favorite, which would make him a Leo.

How about you?  Do they have your beer preference pegged or not?

13 thoughts on “What’s Your Sign?”

  1. No. I’m a Scorpio, like you, and barley wine just sounds terrible. I’m happy with Fat Tire or Shiner Bock any day. Speaking of which, I wonder if my bosses would let me go drink during lunch; our stock is in the tank today.

  2. Finally something you wrote worth reading.

    I am also a Scorpio and what the hell is this crap. That’s not really even a beer. I wish it said I would like drinking a 40 of Old English on the corner kicking it with the homeless homies.

  3. They got mine but I consider that a completely random coincidence. I find astrology to be good for one thing in any of the it’s forms – a laugh!

  4. Hey John, I’m Gemini. Ya think??? Dang, shame I’m married and, like, 157 years older than you…cause evening walks on the beach are my idea of heaven, but my walker sinks in the sand 😦

  5. I, too, am an Aquarius, and I do love me a good stout (Guinness was the first beer I ever liked). But I also love IPA, amber, pilsner, porter, kolsch, lambic, lager, ale…

    That is to say, I couldn’t agree more with the view of a beer list as a treasure map! 🙂

  6. Jo, don’t worry about the husband. He can keep my wife company while we go for that walk.
    I bet if we replaced the tennis balls on the bottom of your walker with beach balls you would be just fine.

  7. @ healthyhoustonfoodie: We have way too much in common! 😀 Scorpio? Check. Fat Tire? Check. Company’s stock in a death spiral? Check. We need a happy hour. 😉

    @ John: This list certainly won’t prevent you from doing that.

    @ Peggy: Fo shizzle. I am, however, a bit too close to the personality profile for a Scorpio for comfort…

    @ Jo: You just love beer, period. You’re ruining the bell curve.

    @ croquecamille: Some time I want to hear more about the different beers you’ve tried in France. I don’t think beer when I think France; you must prove me wrong.

    @ Amazon: I’m surrounded by Leos and Stella lovers! What gives?

  8. I’d love to, but the sad truth is that French beer pretty much sucks. Luckily, the wine more than compensates. 🙂 When I want beer, I just go to Belgium. Or Germany. (Looking into Oktoberfest for next year, as a matter of fact – now THAT would be a beer post!)

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