Like Jesus to a Child

Trying to explain my undying love of pork, pork products and all things pork to a coworker this afternoon:

Me:  Me and pork are like…  Are like…  Are like……..

Mike:  Like what?

Me:  Like…you know.  I LOVE pork.

Mike:  You’re terrible at analogies.

Me:  Look, I’m just trying to think of a love that is reciprocal and doesn’t end in tragedy.  No Romeo and Juliet-type stuff.

Mike:  Like Windex and glass?

Me:  YOU’RE TERRIBLE AT ANALOGIES.

Mike:  Whatever.

Me:  Like Bobby and Whitney.  Oh, wait…no.

Mike:  Like Ike and Tina?

Me:  No!  No beatings or crack!  Like Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Mike:  They broke up.

Me:  Oh.  Then, like Brad and Angelina.

Mike:  TOO NEW.

Me:  OKAY, FINE.  Like Danny Devito and Rhea Perlman.

Mike:  What?!?

Me:  Odd, but eternal.  Yes.  That’s how pork and I feel about each other.

Next time, I’ll stick to letting George Michael write the bizarre analogies and just go eat some bacon.

10 responses to “Like Jesus to a Child

  1. Some other analogies;

    Like Geroge Michael and drugs!

    Like a laborer and a beer!

    Like Mulder and porn!

    Like my car and cheap gas!

  2. Holy cow.

    Like Perez and Teddy!!!

    Okay. I’m done now.

  3. so, that peas & carrots analogy..beat to death

    my pork love is unrequited,or obsessive, perhaps both – no matter how much i consume (it is my favorite, ever, ever – as well) i am nevah sated.

    (have you tried the salt/vinegar chicharrones? i am a closet pig chip fiend too).

    MJ

  4. so, yeah, i meant to say before mashing submit that it is romeo and juliet, pride and prejudice, sense and sensibilities (how much bacon can you eat and it still be sensible? why is a “rasher” not 6 slices?)

  5. I was watching “dinner impossible” this past weekend and m. symon had a chocolate dipped, almond sprinkled fried bacon for dessert…..makes me weak just thinking about it.

    Now….I think I can make a bacon bra….whoot. That was a steller link!!!!

  6. Have you seen the Bacon Salt yet…?

    MMMM…good

    http://www.baconsalt.com/

  7. I miss you on XYZ jodycakes

  8. Amazon101 is probably the coolest of all the readers

  9. Throw up another fabu set of reviews and I’ll be sure to return…:)
    Wot’s next on the agenda…you did bbq, italian, mexican and cheesesteaks all in one go…Now what?

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