The End Is Near


And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Tombstone Deep Dish Pizza, and Hell followed with him.  And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with vending machine pizza, and with high-fructose corn syrup, and with trans-fatty acids, and with all the beasts of the earth.

UPDATE:  For all of you coming over via Buzzfeed and Consumerist…welcome!  To answer your question, I didn’t take that picture of the Tombstone vending machine.  I simply found it on HAIF (referenced above) and thought it was hilarious.  The good folks at HAIF should be able to tell you more about it, where it is, how much the pizza costs, whether or not it glowed with the fiery evil of the apocalypse, etc.  Have fun!


73 thoughts on “The End Is Near”

  1. this is fantastic! i need a tombstone *and* a redbull!

    @intrigued – hot kosher grilled sandwich?!?! we need a picture, or better yet, video clip of that!

  2. I’ve used this before, back when I was a freshman at FIU in miami. The pizza tastes like shit, looked like shit and was just plain horrible, for 4 dollars.

    It was better to just but 4 dollars worth of skittles.

  3. Surely our rodent brethren will be able to access the tender morsels within.

    Nouse droppings add a lot of flavor to any vending machine pizza.

  4. the end is not near, ya see when the book of revelations was written it had to be done in symbolical language coz of the despots and tyrants back then. the 4 horses represent the spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical. the white horse symbolizes victory, accomplishment, and achievement. so the people who came up with this product idea accomplished what they wanted. if you think it’s bad you can ride the white horse too and not eat it…it works both ways, ya know.

    if you like humor you should stop by this place

  5. Have you seen the new vending machines that heat up food? We actually saw one in person at Coney Island. It was a hot dog vending machine that supposedly grilled the hot dogs. We were to afraid to try it.

  6. It may be a cliche American thing to put pizza in a vending machine, but if there was one in my office or dorm room I would clean it out! Hooray for laziness!

  7. From Wikipedia…

    Soylent Green is a 1973 dystopian science fiction movie depicting a future in which overpopulation leads to depleted resources on earth. This leads to widespread unemployment and poverty. Real fruit, vegetables, and meat are rare, commodities are expensive, and much of the population survives on processed food rations, including “soylent green” wafers.

  8. i have one of these in my dorm, i keep wanting the try it ( against all of my junior foodie instincts) but people keep telling me that
    1. i live in the italian area of town, i can get insanely cheap and delicious pizza quite easily
    2. that it tastes like the lovechild of cardboard and cheeze-wiz

  9. [img][/img]

    i know what you mean.. these were at an nyc airport (jfk,laguardia,.. can’t remember which one)

  10. Wow. I’ve seen the french fry one, and then the hot dog ones made out of Minnesota. Now pizza! What’s next?

    I thought people wanted healthier foods out of vending machines? Maybe it’s just me…..

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  16. Previous comments regarding the quality of pizza delivered by these machines are pretty negative. However those comments are old like 2008. I was wondering in 6 years have these machines improved in any way? I’d appreciate if you can enlighten me.

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